Chapter Twelve: Aunt Sadie's Greens

"Lupo's on Cherry Street is your standard tavern. The ale's flat, but at least the serving wenches have thick heads of foam. If you hold still at the bar long enough, you'll get propositioned by some group of adventurers who just met each other for the first time. They'll invite you along to raid the Tombs of Atuan or the Lost Caverns of Tsojcanth. I turn 'em down politely. Then I send word by carrier pigeon to my old friend Sally who lives in the Lost Caverns. Let her know a fresh bunch of humanoids is on its way.

"Even though it's in the human settlement of Korndale, Lupo's is the kind of place where a legless, shrivelled goblin witch can pull herself through the doorway hand over fist, and not really stand out in the crowd. That would be me, the goblin witch, Sadie. . . ."

Aunt Sadie tells about confronting her ancient rival, an unspeakable force of bitchiness named Francine. Hilarity and hijinx and bloodloss are sure to follow in Aunt Sadie's Greens.

[Run time: 13 minutes, 41 seconds. The link above points to a VBR (hi-fi), 13.1 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]

Featuring Melinda as "Georgia Lupo," and Rob as Aunt Sadie, Francine, Kreegak and the unnamed character who says "Poke him in the other eye." Written and plastered by Rob Northrup. Intro music was "Nightmare" by The Artie Shaw Orchestra circa 193X, and "Flaming Youth" by Duke Ellington, both in the public domain as far as I know and available on Music at the end of chapter 12 was "├ůse's Death" from Peer Gynt, composed by Edvard Grieg.

“Aunt Sadie's Greens” radio play audio file uses the following sound files from Freesound ( according to the Creative Commons Sampling Plus 1.0 license:

* "Rooster chicken calls_2" from AGFX

* "Grunts.wav" by Sruddi1

Other s/fx include:

* Door opening and creaking sound from the intro of CBS Radio Mystery Theater. (Brief enough to count as "fair use", I hope.)

* Slaps and grunts from "Pete Kelly's Blues - Gus Trudeau." (Public domain and/or brief enough to count as "fair use." Check out all six known existing episodes of PKB posted on

* A few seconds of cheesy organ incidental music from "The Sealed Book - King of the World". Fair use and/or public domain.

* A few seconds of the Godzilla theme, which I hope is brief enough to count as "fair use."

Correction: At the end of the audio file, I mention a sound sample that I had planned to use, "Chicken_house2" by digifish music. During editing, I went with a rooster sample instead.