"The good news is your crush finally speaks to you. And it's not just hi. He actually knows your name and he starts the conversation.
"The bad news is: he's dangling from the claws of a gargoyle at the time, being flown West to stand trial as a treasonous vegecarrion organizer. And then all he says to you is, 'Josie, save me!'"
What chance does Josie have of rescuing her hunky hobgoblin from an ampitheater overflowing with hundreds of his kin, as they debate which method would be most amusing to dispatch him? Click here to download Chapter Eleven: The Emperor's Bib.
Warning: This chapter is pretty gory. You might not want to play it at work, or around kids, or for yourself. For everyone else, enjoy. I don't have a good sense of where they draw the lines for movies or video games, but I would personally rate this as PG-13 or maybe Rated R.
[Run time: 15 minutes, 42 seconds. The link above points to a VBR (hi-fi), 15.1 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]
Featuring Melinda as "SreHAAg," Matt as "Chango" (mixed into a crowd scene) and Rob as all other characters. Written and plastered by Rob Northrup. "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is the opening theme and "Åses Death" from Peer Gynt, Op. 23: Suite No. 1: 2 (whatever that means) is the music at the end of each episode, both composed by Edvard Grieg.
"The Emperor's Bib" radio play audio file uses the following sound files from Freesound (http://freesound.iua.upf.edu):
"horse walking on paving stones" from dobroide.
http://freesound.iua.upf.edu/download/38764/38764_dobroide_20070808.horse.wav
"pura kehen cockfight" from alchemical. (Crowd at a cockfight in Bali ????)
http://freesound.iua.upf.edu/samplesViewSingle.php?id=26334
"Crowd cheering football 01" from wanna73
http://freesound.iua.upf.edu/samplesViewSingle.php?id=20784
Also included are clips of Michael Palin saying "crucifixion," Sterling Holloway saying, "Oh bother," and the famous Wilhelm scream. I hope these brief clips qualify as fair use.
Chapter Ten: His Terrible Secret
"I drew my knife, lunged to the side of the bed and pressed it against his neck. 'Feel this blade? I will have you or no one will!'"
Josie finally reaches SreHAAg, only to see him arrested and carried away to stand trial. What crime could be so horrible that even hobgoblins would outlaw it? Click here to download Chapter Ten: His Terrible Secret.
[Run time: 5 minutes, 17 seconds. The link above points to a VBR (hi-fi), 5.1 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]
Josie finally reaches SreHAAg, only to see him arrested and carried away to stand trial. What crime could be so horrible that even hobgoblins would outlaw it? Click here to download Chapter Ten: His Terrible Secret.
[Run time: 5 minutes, 17 seconds. The link above points to a VBR (hi-fi), 5.1 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]
Chapter Nine: Nadia Bares Her Soul
"Oooo! Why are you so mean to me? We used to be best friends! I used to sleepover at your mom’s pit all the time, and we’d stay up all night braiding bones into each other’s hair, making humans sing their funny dirges for us, talking about boys. I looked up to you like an older sister. You were always so stylish and brash and sassy. Mom wouldn’t let me dress provocatively like you did, wearing eyeballs pinned to your frocks, because she said the smell of them rotting would turn on the boys too much. You kissed your first boy before I did, and killed your first boy before I did. You learned to drive before me. I mean, drive slaves to the market.
"What happened? Why did it all have to change?"
On her way to seduce SreHAAg in the Cathouse Dinner Theatre, Josie is confronted by Nadia. They have a tiff. Nadia expresses herself in song.
[Run time: 12 minutes, 7 seconds. The link above points to 128kbps, 11.6 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]
"What happened? Why did it all have to change?"
On her way to seduce SreHAAg in the Cathouse Dinner Theatre, Josie is confronted by Nadia. They have a tiff. Nadia expresses herself in song.
[Run time: 12 minutes, 7 seconds. The link above points to 128kbps, 11.6 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming.]
Good press from The Audio Addicts
Here's a nice blurb. "Oh how ghoulishly fun!" That's what The Audio Addicts said about Brazen Hearts. Thanks!
Easy Streaming Brazen Hearts
If you're trying to listen on dial-up, or if you can't download whole mp3s because you're at work, you might want to try them as streaming audio. The following links should work with RealPlayer or WinAmp or other standard audio playing software that you probably have:
Chapter One: Brazen Hearts, Fresh, On Sticks
Chapter Two: Rico Worries About the Dungeon
Chapter Three: The Gift of the Sadie
Chapter Four: Human Boots
Chapter Five: Werewolves at Rico's Throat
Chapter Six: Even Werewolves Love to Dish
Chapter Seven: Trapped in The Gap
Chapter Eight: Dinner and a Show
Most of these chapters are available in other file sizes and formats like "ogg vorbis" or even as zip files. Just go to www.archive.org and search for "brazen hearts".
Chapter One: Brazen Hearts, Fresh, On Sticks
Chapter Two: Rico Worries About the Dungeon
Chapter Three: The Gift of the Sadie
Chapter Four: Human Boots
Chapter Five: Werewolves at Rico's Throat
Chapter Six: Even Werewolves Love to Dish
Chapter Seven: Trapped in The Gap
Chapter Eight: Dinner and a Show
Most of these chapters are available in other file sizes and formats like "ogg vorbis" or even as zip files. Just go to www.archive.org and search for "brazen hearts".
Dayjobs podcast launched
I've launched a Dungeons & Dayjobs podcast to spread the stories in different format and maybe rustle up some new paying customers for the paper version. First up is "Almost Always, Somebody Lost an Eye." There's even a promo from the old Dungeons & Dayjobs cartoon, circa 1983!
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